I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
