we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I currently don't understand fingers.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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