i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
