You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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