i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dicks are not precious.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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