He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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