all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
false alarm, still single
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