So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
