Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize