somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
