when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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