there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
