While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
