theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
