he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
