he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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