My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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