just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Vodka?
Forever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
