it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
