We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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