I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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