You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
