yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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