How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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