So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
