You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
