I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
