he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
