When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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