So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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