You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just want to make out with him forever
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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