Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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