nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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