There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
