Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
