Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
wow bdsm is so cute
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
