I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
