I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
