all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
