i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
