we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
