We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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