I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
