Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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