That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Randomize
