Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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