I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
