My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
