I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
