I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
