That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
