We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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