i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
