Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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