THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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