you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
