Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize