just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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