I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
