Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize