So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
