Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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