What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
