wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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