we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
