Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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