well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
